Strength in struggle
As illustrated, finding your strength and realising your attributes are found through the struggles and pain in life, not when things are easy and you feel you’re at your strongest. It is through the weak moments that you learn and become stronger because of those circumstances.
A bag of tea may look exactly the same as every other teabag in the box. You can make your judgments and assume which is the strongest, but you will never know or understand until it is placed in hot water and you experience it and taste it for yourself.
Likewise, the expectations you have for yourself and your limits may lie in a specific place in the recesses of your mind, and you may think you know exactly how strong you are and what you can and cannot deal with.
Again, it is through a whirlwind of intense change that your perspective and perceptions of yourself are truly tested and you can be met with great surprise.
The level of our strength can always come as a shock when we are tested with difficult situations, such as losing loved ones, losing jobs, experiencing divorce, breakups and many more.
You may have an encouraging realisation that you are a lot stronger than you first thought when it came down to the punch, or you may be disappointed that you weren’t as strong as you first thought.
Nevertheless, no matter the depth, we can determine our strength in any circumstance through our response to the situation and the steps we take after the situation takes place.
No one was born emotionally stronger than another; experience and decisions to learn and grow make all the difference.
In times where we feel our weaknesses are exposed and we are helpless there are still things we can do to flip the situation around. A lot of what makes us who we are and what determines our character is our perception of ourselves as well as what we choose to focus on.
If we focus on our weaknesses we will see weakness. If we focus on our strength we will see strength. Whatever you focus your eyes upon, that is what you see!
Diamonds in the rough
An analogy I have used before but evermore remains a strong example that is relevant to this subject is the analogy of how diamonds are formed. They first start as an unpleasant, dark and uneven piece of coal; that relates to how we feel in the beginning of a crisis.
But coal can only be transformed into diamonds within an environment of extreme temperatures combined with extreme atmospheric pressure.
Without the crisis and pressures we come up against, how else can we become stronger versions of ourselves?
These extreme circumstances of the transition from coal to diamond cause explosions of magma at the speed of an un-corked champagne bottle and vastly more powerful than that of most volcanoes. It involves heating, cooling, strong forces and intense pressure.
But when diamonds are finally formed, they are more complex in structure, stronger than ever before and will no longer disintegrate under pressure because of the circumstances they were exposed to. They are noticeably beautiful and their immense strength is clearly displayed. The outcome was worth the process.
[For more on this process, read The Naked Divorce Book or see more on www.nakeddivorce.com.]
No guts, no glory
In the same way that coal is transformed into a diamond under pressure, it is possible for humans who feel under pressure from a life change they are going through to also be transformed — provided they have something which supports them during the change.
But the support you have is determined by you.
- You may have people around you that want to help; you can allow them in or shut them out.
- You may not have people around you that want to help; then you can look for people or groups to help.
- Or you can do nothing.
It is our choice to take steps in the direction we need to go. You can allow yourself to wither out and be defeated by your circumstance, or you can rise above and crush problems that try to hold you under.
In the midst of a struggle, as you come up against your crisis, you may find that you have untapped strength that has been waiting to surface.
Sure, it may have been lying dormant, but it doesn’t change the fact that it is there. Through unexpected bumps your heart can jump into opportunities for breakthrough to occur in abundance. Therefore I say with confidence that if you make a choice to see those opportunities in which your strength can be displayed, you will be surprised to find you are stronger than you ever thought possible.
It may take some molding and shaping, pressure and solid heat, but if you allow it all to run its course you will be shaped into a diamond that can only double in value.