Month: September 2016
Cling On – or let go? Pt3
Okay, we’ve now talked about how your relationship dynamic affects your basic needs to feel safe and secure Part One and your psychological need to feel loved and valued Part Two. But what about the top of the pyramid: self-fulfilment? Self-fulfilment In the grand scheme of things, at least for people from most walks of life, […]
The perfect relationship
Brad, Angelina and the Death of the “Perfect” Relationship Ever been told “Oh my god, you guys are just SO GOOD together?” even as the doubts are starting to set in? Or had friends roll their eyes when you mention issues that are starting to bother you because hey, your relationship is great – what […]
Change- ‘change’
You have to accept what you can’t change… and change what you can’t accept How much time did you waste in your last relationship, just hoping that your partner would change? And how much time did you waste complaining about the situation – but doing nothing about it? Perhaps you stayed with your ex for […]
‘Change’ like boiling a frog
Managing change is a bit like boiling a frog. Charlie Munger, Warren Buffett’s partner at Berkshire Hathaway gave a speech at the Harvard Law School in 1995. In this speech, Munger cited a small lesson from frogs. He said: “If you throw a frog into very hot water, the frog will jump out, but if you put the […]
Cling On – or let go? Pt2
In the first part of this series, I talked about how all humans have a basic need to feel safe and secure, and how to make sure that you offer that to your partner in ways that are healthy and not controlling or counterproductive. But this is only the tip of the iceberg. Or, in […]
Cling On – or let go? Pt1
They take no notice of me. They don’t support me or show any interest in my job, or my passions, or my interests. They don’t listen. They seem bored when we’re together. I don’t feel they’re proud to be with me. They don’t call or text to see how I’m doing. They’re always too busy […]
Time heals. Really?
Do people keep telling you to give yourself time to heal? That you just need to put some distance between yourself and your trauma? Simply wait for long enough and you’ll feel much better, get over it, and move on. Well… tell them to get stuffed. Time is not a healer Time doesn’t do anything, […]
Later life divorce…
Congratulations! You made it all the way through to retirement together. You survived all those early fights, the nappy duties, the teenager tantrums, the little jealousies and resentments, the financial strains, the never-ending couple conflicts, and now… Now you’ve decided enough is enough. You don’t want to grow old together, after all. You’re getting divorced. […]
3 ways you’re dooming your relationship before it’s began
Have you been single since what seems like forever – and miserable about it? If so, you may be falling into one of these common self-defeating traps. 1) You raise the wrong bars way too high. I’m not suggesting you settle for something or someone that just isn’t right for you. I’ve talked before at […]
