When talking about divorce, the focus often centers on the husband and wife. But numerous studies have emerged as of late that show the long-term impact of divorce on children.
This calls for a need to focus on helping kids cope with the mental and emotional difficulties they face when their parents decide to go their separate ways.
Another factor that can have a negative consequence for children is when there is no direct communication used during the process.
The moment you hire a divorce attorney to handle the legal aspect of the case, that is when things tend to escalate. The kids are almost always caught in the middle of two warring parties.
This is why professional mediation is helpful during this time because it can be easy for parents to overlook the welfare of their offspring. When the divorce is child-centered, then you can be sure that your kids will feel protected and safe.
Caption: Tips for a child-centered divorce (Image from Pexels)
How does divorce effect children?
As mentioned above, numerous studies have been conducted to determine the exact impact that divorce can have on children. But one thing is for sure: the experience tends to be mostly negative.
According to the research, preschoolers most experience heightened levels of anxiety and fear when their parents get a divorce. The older the child is, the better they are able to adjust to the situation. But there is still no guarantee that everyone can cope in the same way.
One of the negative emotional effects of divorce on children is that they might feel a sense of abandonment. When both parents are too focused on parting ways from each other, the kids may feel left out. There is no sense of continuity when it comes to family routines and they could be neglected. They have nowhere to turn to for a sense of security.
Older children tend to cope better because they have a deeper understanding of the circumstances. This does not mean, however, that they are not impacted in the same way. For divorcing parents, you need to strive to make your divorce less hostile and stressful. This will help ease the difficulty for your children.
The Good News
If you are struggling with handling your divorce and your offspring, there’s no need to fear. There are several ways that you can get help in order to make the situation more manageable.
Your goal should always be to minimize the negative effects of the situation on your children. The next time you feel like lashing out towards your ex-spouse, stop and think about what impact it will create on your kids.
You need to realign your priorities and focus on what will make the divorce process seamless. There are a few divorce options and strategies you can try to keep your offspring’s best interests in mind.
Strategies for Child-Centered Divorce
It is a fragile time in your family life. Make sure you handle it with care and integrity. You can address your children’s needs when you integrate the following strategies into the divorce process.
Caption: The impact of divorce on children (Image from Pexels)
Tip 1: Use the Child Needs Analysis Strategy
The help of a divorce coach (Adele Theron is a leading Divorce Coach) is essential in shifting your focus back towards your children. It is easy to let your emotions overcome your decisions, but this is not always the best for your kids.
With a professional helping you out, you can implement a Child Needs Analysis strategy in your divorce procedure. The strategy is basically what it says it is: an opportunity to put your offspring’s needs before you and your ex-spouse. This starts with building direct communication with your ex instead of fighting or shouting at each other.
The goal is to minimize emotional turmoil as it can negatively impact your children the more they are exposed to it.
You and your ex-spouse should commit to peaceful co-parenting. This means not arguing in front of the kids, not bashing your ex, and not including the children in the difficult aspects of the separation.
An experienced divorce coach can help create an effective co-parenting plan to provide a stable and manageable and mutually agreed way to manage critical co-parenting issues. This will help you cope with the struggles of divorce, as well as educate you on how to address certain situations as they arise.
Tip 2: Focus on Collaborative Practice
The concept of collaborative practice is another growing trend in the field. This is another technique implemented by coaches that can eschew litigation altogether. You need to work with your respective lawyers through the legal processes you must take so you won’t have to go to court.
Aside from a divorce coach, you need to work with other professionals such as financial specialists and child psychologists/therapists. The goal of this technique is to minimize the legal and emotional turmoil that you undergo. The smoother the process is, the less negative impact it will have on your child. You can also move on with your separate lives more peacefully.
Tip 3: Establish a Good Relationship With Your Ex
As difficult as it might sound, this is the most effective ingredient in a child-centered divorce. If you put your children as your first priority, you will be able to rise above the conflict. Communicate, not fight, with your ex-partner when there are issues to be resolved.
When you focus on your own legal rights, it is easy to put blame on your ex-partner. But a no-fault divorce is what you need to foster a healthy environment for your kids to cope with ease. Stop the blame game and focus instead on the emotional and mental needs of your offspring. This is also a practical measure because the money that can be used in court can be allotted for your children’s future needs instead.
Think of every dollar spent on lawyers, as money stolen from your children’s education, and well-being.
Setting your own emotions aside in a difficult time such as divorce is not always easy. But it can be if you re-align your focus on your kids. With the help of a divorce coach, you can craft the right plans to make the process child-centered.
The mediation can help you think straight instead of letting your emotions impact your decisions.
You have to remember that every decision you make at this point affects not only you but the lives of your children, as well.
Getting objective and unbiased advice from a divorce coach will enable you to identify a win-win situation for all parties.
You can learn more about our founder and lead Divorce Coach by clicking on the link below…