Single life: What it really is
Claudia Connell on Mail Online gives a painfully honest account of how she came to be living alone in middle-age. Now in her 40’s, Claudia talks of how her single life, once embraced and celebrated for its exciting perks, has lost its gloss.
Claudia wrote in Mail online: “I was part of the Sex And the City generation — successful, feisty women who made their own money, answered to no one and lived life to the full.
When it came to men, my attitude towards them was the same as it was towards the latest must-have handbag: only the best would do, no compromises should be made, and even then it would be quickly tired of and cast aside.”
She went on to say “At the age of 46, I’ve unwillingly accepted that my opportunity to have a family has gone and the chances of meeting a decent man aren’t looking too rosy either. What none of us spent too long thinking about in our 20’s and 30’s was how our lifestyles would impact on us once we reached middle-age.
“We didn’t want to go out and get sozzled on cocktails, and had replaced our stilettos and skinny jeans with flat shoes and elasticated waists. Freedom is great when you can exploit it; but when you have so much that you don’t know what to do with it, then it all becomes a little pointless.”
Consider the numbers
Today in the UK there are record numbers of middle-aged single people. There are many other men and women just like Claudia that can relate to the emotions and realities of this lifestyle; yet not so many will be as bold as to admit it, but in this circumstance figures speak loudest.
Statistics released by the Office of National Statistics showed that 7.6 million people are currently living alone in the UK. The fastest growing group in this is a 2.5 million percentage that fall between the ages of 45 and 64 who live alone with no spouse, partner or children.
“What? I love being single!”
The figure represents a mind-blowing 50 percent increase since the mid-nineties — materially well off, perhaps, in this generation, but seemingly emotionally bereft.
It’s a somewhat upsetting report, but a correct one nonetheless. While some women and men are quite comfortable with their circumstance of living alone, the truth is most will admit that they wished they had someone to share it with, whether a partner, child or another family.
This article is in no way intended to be a spiral of depression and reminder of your singleness, if you are. However, sometimes a reminder of these situations can be a healthy way into finding out what you want and chasing after that.
Don’t miss the importance of opportunities when they come to your doorstep — whether that is a new relationship, a chance of amending one with a family member, or the opportunity to take action in your situation.
Fight for what you want
You may be feeling broken and have to fight for healing from your past so you can become a full representation of yourself again, instead of regretting your life away wishing you had realised things sooner.
The wonderful thing that we should never take for granted is that we do live in world and country of endless opportunity. If we know what we want and take action in getting it, we can fight for our aspirations and dreams to live our lives in the way in which we desire.
Life does throw its whirlwinds and it can knock us clean off our feet from a place in which we were quite comfortable, but if we stay there in that brokenness or state of unawareness or denial of what was really going on we will end up looking back wishing and regretting, and go on searching for anyone who can invent us that time machine!
Life is always going to be a whirlwind; you just have to learn how to pick yourself up once you’ve been knocked down.
You will find what you need along the way
We all think and worry about the future and wonder where we will be in 10-20 years of our life. Some of us seriously wonder how we can possible get to a place we see desirable by then.
Yet the truth is there are ways to get there and people to help you and opportunities that do come around. They might come in disguise but they come nonetheless, so be on the lookout for them and take ahold of them!
If you feel yourself feeling morose or depressed at the prospect of being single or it is clear you have not healed from your divorce or bad breakup, stop suffering in silence and talk to us.
We have a whole team of angels who are ready to chat to you. We’d love for you to get in touch with us!