Your world is crashing down around you. You’re feeling hurt and betrayed by the person you thought you’d spend the rest of your life with. You’re angry and upset. You sure as hell don’t feel like being mature and understanding right now.
It affects the way you manage your relationships with your ex, your children, your family – and even future partners. It affects how well you’re able to stay professional and productive at work, or even whether you’re able to hold down a job at all. And perhaps most importantly, it affects how quickly you’re able to heal and recover.
Getting stuck in a rut of self-destruction or harm with respect to your children or ex-spouse is harmful to yourself and to your healing process. If you don’t nip it in the bud, it can develop into a cycle of behaviour that dooms every new relationship before it’s even got off the ground.
If you don’t take the time now to address those negative and self-harming behaviours, chances are your relationships will end up the same.
I’m not saying this to depress you. This doesn’t need to be depressing – because you can change it. You might feel like your emotions are spinning way out of control right now, but in fact:
It gives you the power and poise to prevent yourself from being a victim of your own emotions and pain. It helps you to protect yourself and the people you love from the ugliest elements of divorce.
There are all kinds of ways to change behaviours and responses that feel ingrained – Leo Babatua over at Zen Habits has 29 excellent tips – and it’s got nothing to do with ignoring your emotions or dulling your pain, as I explain here.
In fact, much of it comes down to having the courage to listen to your self-doubt, allow yourself to really face up to the feelings that hurt you, and to take care of yourself even as you’re pushing yourself to change for the better. This is hard enough in general life, but when you’re going through a trauma, it’s seriously tough.
While coping with my own divorce trauma and over my years of working with people who are going through similar situations, I’ve seen some of the same damaging behaviours crop up again and again.
In the report, I talk you through the biggest pitfalls that people face when they are going through a divorce – and show you how to avoid them.
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With you in service
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