Category: * Divorce healing
Cling On – or let go? Pt3
Okay, we’ve now talked about how your relationship dynamic affects your basic needs to feel safe and secure Part One and your psychological need to feel loved and valued Part Two. But what about the top of the pyramid: self-fulfilment? Self-fulfilment In the grand scheme of things, at least for people from most walks of life, […]
Change- ‘change’
You have to accept what you can’t change… and change what you can’t accept How much time did you waste in your last relationship, just hoping that your partner would change? And how much time did you waste complaining about the situation – but doing nothing about it? Perhaps you stayed with your ex for […]
‘Change’ like boiling a frog
Managing change is a bit like boiling a frog. Charlie Munger, Warren Buffett’s partner at Berkshire Hathaway gave a speech at the Harvard Law School in 1995. In this speech, Munger cited a small lesson from frogs. He said: “If you throw a frog into very hot water, the frog will jump out, but if you put the […]
Cling On – or let go? Pt2
In the first part of this series, I talked about how all humans have a basic need to feel safe and secure, and how to make sure that you offer that to your partner in ways that are healthy and not controlling or counterproductive. But this is only the tip of the iceberg. Or, in […]
Cling On – or let go? Pt1
They take no notice of me. They don’t support me or show any interest in my job, or my passions, or my interests. They don’t listen. They seem bored when we’re together. I don’t feel they’re proud to be with me. They don’t call or text to see how I’m doing. They’re always too busy […]
Time heals. Really?
Do people keep telling you to give yourself time to heal? That you just need to put some distance between yourself and your trauma? Simply wait for long enough and you’ll feel much better, get over it, and move on. Well… tell them to get stuffed. Time is not a healer Time doesn’t do anything, […]
Compromising Yourself? Brace for a Midlife Crisis Divorce
Relationships are about compromise. Right? I mean, we hear that a hundred times a day. It’s drilled into us non-stop. If you want to make your marriage work (and avoid divorce), you have to be willing to compromise. But what does “compromise” actually mean? There’s a huge difference between accepting that you won’t always get […]
Are You a Therapy Junkie?
Recently I had a client in her 60s (I’ll call her Tammy) who had spent 12 long years in therapy, trying to figure out what was wrong with her and searching for ways to improve. Tammy had tried every self-help, positive thinking, mind-opening, behaviour-correcting course you can think of. Cognitive Behavioural Therapy? Check! DBT? Check! […]
3 ways you’re dooming a relationship before it begins
Have you been single since what seems like forever – and miserable about it? If so, you may be falling into one of these common self-defeating traps in relationship. 1) You raise the wrong bars too high I’m not suggesting you settle for something or someone that just isn’t right for you. I’ve talked before […]
A Tale of Two Singletons: You Don’t Know What’s Good for You
We all have that amazing friend who’s perpetually single, and we just can’t work out why. You know the type: she’s smart, brilliant, beautiful and tons of fun. She dips her toes in the dating pool – perhaps she’s even the type who always seems to have the next date lined up. And yet, nothing […]
