A summary for Clingon’s
There are 5 specific break-up personality types. Each have their strengths and weaknesses. Learning more about yours will help you move forward…
You’ve arrived in this state due to a significant emotional trauma. Your body has chosen for you to behave as a Clingon in attempt to hold on to something which has been lost.
In essence your mind has chosen to protect you from your real emotional environment. In the short term this can save you from the deeper and more painful reality of your situation.
The downside of this emotion is that disengages you reality, and prevents you from taking action. Why would you take action, if you don’t really believe that anything has changed?
Without action you will become a victim rather than an active participant in your situation, and your emotional stability.
Some shake of this state after a few weeks, others are not so lucky. They may be trying to Clingon to something that has been lost years ago. And this of course prevents them from moving forward with their lives. As a result this can be a devastating state if it persists for more than a week or two.
In one of our many coaching examples, Chris (not his real name) discussed the potential of marrying his partner with his coach…
After further conversations it emerged that they had not been physically in the same building for more than a few days within the last 12 months, that she was living in a different country, and when she did visit his town she spent her time with friends and didn’t visit him. It was a total shock to him when it was pointed out that he was actually not in a relationship at all, physically or emotionally. From her perspective he was simply someone she had co-purchased a property with years previous, and nothing more.
This type of Clingon, and Denial behaviour, is not uncommon.
Try and take an objective look at your relationship, look at the facts rather than your interpretation of them. You may be in for a rude awakening – but that ‘awakening’ is better sooner rather than later. It can of course be hard – technically it’s impossible – to be objective in this exercise. It is particularly helpful in this situation to use an external professional coach wherever possible. Other support may also help, but be cautious of turning to close friends or family as they too cannot be objective – they are in reality often more biased than you are.
In short, a short term dose of Clingon isn’t going to cause you irreversible harm. Left for too long however and it can.
Left unchecked your desperation will dominate and destroy every aspect of your life, including relationships with your family, work colleagues and certainly any future relationships.
If however your feeling of desperation, clinginess and panic continues for days, weeks, or even longer then you need to address this. It is highly likely that whilst you are feeling and experiencing these emotions you haven’t yet expressed the full deepness of it. Thus it remains with you, and will prevent recovery.
There are specific exercises that can be performed to achieve this such as the infamous Naked Divorce Baseball exercise, and are included within the Naked Divorce 21 Day and Haven programs.
These exercises should be completed with professional direction, and so we don’t go into greater detail in this short summary.
You can learn more about your emotions by getting your hands on your Full Report, or through the Naked Divorce programs.