Crippling divorce anxiety is something that many people have to deal with before they even start to navigate the divorce journey. The process comes with a whole rollercoaster ride of emotions that can leave you tired, confused, angry, and everything else in between.
It’s easy to get overwhelmed by divorce fears, and many people stay in their marriage too long simply because they are scared of divorce. Where there is a will, there’s a way, however, and we’re going to take a look at the top divorce fears and how to overcome them.
One of the biggest fears about getting a divorce is facing the world alone. After being a part of a couple and family unit for many years, it’s understandable that the thought of being alone is scary. This is a completely natural fear to have.
The great thing about this fear is that the answer to overcoming it lies solely within you. This is a wonderful opportunity for you to create your own contentment and joy without having to rely on someone else. A change of mindset is essential at this point, and the power of positive thinking will take you far.
If there are things that you’ve always wanted to do but didn’t have time for or your ex wouldn’t have enjoyed, then this is when you try them out. If you have always wanted to get into hiking, for example, you should join with a local hiking group. This helps you to get out and about and also introduces you to new people with similar interests that could become good friends.
There’s no sugar-coating the fact that divorce is stressful and hurtful for kids; however, what’s even more damaging is kids growing up in a home where their parents are always fighting or where there is clearly no love,
The reality of the situation is that if you handle your divorce in a mature way and try to avoid fighting in front of your kids, then there’s no reason that they won’t go on to thrive in the same way as a child from married parents would.
It’s essential that you are open with your children about the divorce and that you communicate with them constantly about how they are feeling. Of course, you must let them know that the divorce is not their fault and that both of you still love them.
It’s important to have an excellent co-parenting plan in place and to ensure that you put your kid’s needs above your own. No matter how angry you are with your ex or how betrayed you feel, you should never bad mouth them to your kids. Be civil with your ex and communicate with them about your children and the things that will benefit them, and kids will adapt to the situation. Of course, if you are really worried about the impact the divorce will have on your children, you can also enlist the services of a family therapist to help.
Getting a divorce can be a really costly process, and it’s understandable that going from a two-person income household to one can be anxiety-inducing. This is particularly true for the partner that makes less money or gave up a career to look after the kids.
The first thing that you should do is get your finances in order. Be aware of any accounts, investments, and savings that your spouse has and collect proof of them. Then it’s essential to work out how much you will need per month to survive and set out a budget for that.
One of the biggest financial mistakes that people make when getting divorced is the decision to keep the family home. While it’s understandable that the house you grew your family in has many memories, the chances are that it is far too big and too expensive to run as a single person. It’s a good idea to downsize and get a more affordable home where you can create new memories in.
Unfortunately, one of the guaranteed results of any divorce is that trusted friends will choose a side, and it might not be yours. Some of the friends that you considered to be in your corner might not be, and some friends might distance themselves from you and your ex without choosing either one of you.
The best thing to do here is to recognize that those friends were good for a time, but clearly, that time is over, and you should look to making new ones. Join support groups or take up a hobby that you’ve always wanted to try, such as a photography course. This way, you’ll meet new people that have similar interests to you and that you can start building some new friendships with.
It’s also important to love and nature the friendships that you have with friends that actually stick around and support you after your divorce. These are the friends that are worth their weight in gold, and it’s important not to neglect them, even if you are feeling overwhelmed.
No one goes into a marriage thinking that it has an end date, and unfortunately, many people feel like they have failed when they get a divorce. Weddings involve family and friends and saying vows in front of all your loved ones, and it can be hard not to feel like a failure.
The truth of the matter is that some marriages don’t last and that no one that gets a divorce is a failure. The sooner that you adjust your mindset and adopt a “this is for the best” attitude, the easier it will be for your to rebuild your life.
You have an inner strength, and you need to tap into it. If you’re not able to do this alone, then join a support group, seek the help of a therapist or a divorce coach, or anyone else that can help you to increase your confidence.
There is no one-size-fits-all approach to getting through a divorce, but self-care, believing in your abilities, and looking forward to the future is a great place to start.
At Naked Divorce, we are firm believers that facing your fears is the best way to conquer them, and we have a range of programs to help you do just that. Whether you need help putting a co-parenting plan in place, you need to get over lingering anger or you need help figuring out your financial situation going forward, our Divorce Angels are here to help you along the way.
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With you in service,
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