Okay, so I wanted to comment on what I think’s a really interesting article, and the article’s called ‘The More Chores a Husband Does, The More Likely the Marriage Will End in Divorce’, which is kind of a little bit scary.
Well actually, maybe it’s a really good thing for us guys. Maybe that’s the excuse we need that we can refer to say, “I’m sorry. I value our relationship, I value our marriage. It’d be better if I didn’t do the chores.” Not quite sure we’re going to get away with that.
I will include a full link to the article lower down.
Now this is actually a big study. They actually analyzed two separate studies, so this included two separate studies involving nearly 20,000 men and women aged between 18 to 79. So that’s a big, big study.
I tend to ignore some of these studies that pop up in the tabloid newspapers, et cetera, especially when it’s a survey of 100 people or a couple of hundred people. But now this is a very significant thorough study. So I did want to look at this.
So, the results were basically reported that untraditional couples, that’s where the man does equal or more household chores than the lady, had a greater risk of divorce. And the stats are pretty clear about that.
Now, as one of the researchers said, I think their name was Hanson, one would think that the breakups would occur more often if families with less equality at home. But our statistics show the opposite. So that’s really interesting.
Now for me, I think there’s three major things going on here.
#1 – Do Chores make a man appear un-masculine?
So number one, and I think this is perhaps the most kind of fascinating and contentious, actually. Does the woman, does the lady, really respect the man more if he does more household chores?
I think that’s a really valid question. Is it possible that the lady of the house would see that man as less masculine if he’s scrubbing the dishes every day? I think that’s very, very possible. Could they perceive him as less of a protector?
I think all those things are very, very true, are both possible, at least.
And I do think sometimes men and women ask for things sometimes sort of logically, which may actually contradict how we feel about things emotionally. And I do think, at least for some women, so I’m not saying all, that for some women this would, even if they requested it, could ultimately be detrimental to that relationship.
So I suppose the opposite of course could also be true.
A man might like a woman to have their own career, have their own income, be largely financially independent. But at the same time they may perceive their wife to be less feminine and could potentially, not sure if diminish is the right word, but change their view of that person to the negative.
They might miss that sort of femininity where they feel that they are looking after the woman more and sort of financially, at least, there’s something about that that many guys will like for sure.
And I think the reverse could be true for women perhaps ultimately not respecting the man as much if they perceive him to be more modern and in the less masculine role.
Anyway, I’d love to hear your thoughts on it. So that’s the first point I wanted to raise.
#2- Separate duties = less conflict
Number two, which I think is perhaps a little bit easier, is if we have individual responsibilities, individual areas.
If, for example, the woman, and obviously I’m overly simplifying here for the purposes of this piece, if the woman of the house does all the cooking and all the washing and the man of the house carries out the garbage and does all the car MOT’s and puts up the shelves, then because they’ve divided up the labor, there’s going to be less debate and perhaps less areas of conflict about, well, you’ve put up that shelf in the wrong way, you’ve used the wrong Rawlplugs, or you haven’t washed that dish properly, et cetera.
So, if you’ve got separate roles, perhaps we’re not treading on each other’s toes and there’s possibly less opportunity for conflict there.
#3 – Modern Relationships don’t last
And number three, and I think this is another big one, actually.
If you’ve got a couple that has, let’s call it, a modern interpretation of marriage, where possibly that marriage is not necessarily till death do us part, their interpretation of that marriage might be more, well, ultimately let’s stay married for as long as it’s in both people’s interests, as it’s both serving both people, that would be perhaps a more modern interpretation.
And in those types of relationships, they’re likely to do more of the chores equally.
But there’s probably an underlying, more stronger likelihood of that relationship ending in divorce because they’re not so scared of it, quite frankly.
The woman’s probably more independent, probably high educated, highly likely to be working in a part-time or full-time job. The risk of divorce isn’t such a risk financially to them. It’s, quite frankly, more likely to happen.
So in that situation, perhaps the chores is not the critical influencing factor. It’s just that in a modern interpretation of a marriage, there is a fundamentally more stronger likelihood in that ending in divorce. So I think that’s really valid.
All right, so that’s my three points.
So those points briefly: Number one, does the woman really respect the man more if he’s completing more household chores? Number two, if there’s individual areas of responsibility, perhaps that’s less opportunity for conflict and disagreement. And number three, if we’re talking about a modern marriage where the household tasks are divided more equally, probably those relationships are more likely to end in divorce ultimately anyway.
Anyway, love to hear what you think?
Here’s a link to the original article that appeared in MedicalDaily.