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Divorce Tips for Parents

Posted on April 26th, 2021
Naked Divorce Advice for parents

Divorce is a stressful and emotionally draining process for all parties involved, but it can be particularly traumatic for children. Far too often, we see children put at the center of divorce proceedings in custody battles and emotional manipulation. This kind of divorce will make the process emotionally and physically traumatizing for children and they will deal with the effects of the devastating disintegration of their family unit for years to come.

At the end of the day, if you aren’t dealing with addiction, domestic abuse (physical and emotional), and other particularly damaging factors within the divorce, then it’s always best to consider how you can get the right outcome for your children’s wellbeing.

Here is a link to what men divorcing might go through…

Here is a link to what women divorcing might go through…

At Naked Divorce, we have specific Divorce Advice and Tips training for parents going through a divorce, and these are just some of the points that we will cover:

Protect Your Children as Much as Possible

For some parents, the fear of hurting their children may have been a big contributing factor to staying in an unhappy marriage. However, sometimes a divorce is the best way forward for everyone. Telling your children about the divorce is difficult, but there are ways to break the news while minimizing negative effects and guiding children through the transition.

Communication

You need to always communicate honestly, openly, and in a way that your children will understand. This goes for choosing when to tell them and listening to their thoughts and concerns about the divorce. Always ensure that they know both you and your ex-spouse will be in their lives and avoid playing the blame game or using pessimistic language.

Reassurance

Your children don’t just think of themselves during the divorce, but also worry about you and how you are feeling. It’s important to be honest with your kids when you are upset, but always reassure them that it is only fleeting and that everything will be okay. Discuss the more emotionally charged aspects of your divorce with trusted adults or a professional to prevent placing an additional burden on your children.

Self Mediation

If it is at all possible, parents should try and mediate custody and sharing arrangements on their own. Going through litigation will do nothing more than stress your children out at a time where they are incredibly vulnerable. Try to put your feelings aside and discuss with your ex how to move forward in the best interests of your children.

Remind Them it is Not Their Fault

Children often internalize their feelings and could blame themselves and take on the guilt for your divorce. As a parent, you know that isn’t the case, but it is of utmost importance that you kindly and regularly remind your children of this too.

Put Parenting Before Resentment

Divorce is never easy, and it can be hard to put feelings of resentment for your ex aside. However, when it comes to the children, it’s essential that you put parenting above your own feelings. You want the best outcome for your children’s wellbeing, and this normally comes in the form of a co-parenting plan that we’ll look at in more depth below.

Create a Co-parenting Strategy

A co-parenting plan, or strategy, is the best way to ensure that you give your children the best possible parental quality during and after a divorce. This includes making shared decisions, interacting at drop-offs, speaking amicably, and doing what is best for your children every step of the way.

Here are some tips for a successful co-parenting plan:

The Kids Come First

The most difficult part of any co-parenting plan is putting aside your own emotions about your ex for the benefit of your children. Setting aside anger, resentment, and hurt is no easy feat, but it is a vital step in a successful co-parenting plan. You have to work cooperatively to ensure the stability, happiness, and well-being of your children.

This means getting your feelings out somewhere else—such as with friends, family, or a therapist. It also means that you should NEVER bad mouth your ex to your children or use them as a messenger between the two of you.

Communicating with Your Ex

It may seem impossible, but you have to have peaceful and purposeful communication with your ex, which is consistent in tone. Your children’s wellbeing is your highest purpose, and you must look at your communication with your ex in this manner. Remember to adjust your mindset into one that will benefit your child, rather than lashing out from a place of hurt. If you are physically unable to communicate with your ex, then a message, phone call, or email in a professional tone is also an option. Always keep your conversations child-focused, listen to what your ex says, try and make reasonable requests, and always show restraint when it feels like things are about to blow up—especially in front of your children.

Consistency is Key

Whether you like your ex or not, you’re going to have to make many parenting decisions together in the future. You need to communicate without bickering and blow-ups to have a smooth decision-making process. Consistency is key in a co-parenting plan and you need to work together to create a life that you both want for your child.

This could be things like visitation times, pick-ups, drop-offs, rules around the house and school, discipline, medical and educational needs, finances, and of course schedules. Make sure you are both on the same page to avoid rocking the boat and upsetting your children.

Get Professional Help

Divorce is one of the most emotionally draining processes that anyone can go through and it becomes particularly traumatic where children are involved. It is important that you don’t try to take the load on yourself and that you don’t put it on your children either.

It’s okay to reach out to a professional to talk about your feelings and equip yourself with the tools to successfully navigate your way through this trying time. It’s completely natural to need to talk to someone like a therapist, or a divorce coach. There are even programs out there specifically geared for parents going through a divorce to help them on their journey.

At Naked Divorce, our Divorce Angels are with you every step of the way as you learn how to live a successful, healthy, and rewarding life throughout and after the divorce process.

If you enjoyed this post, I’d be very grateful if you’d help it spread by emailing it to a friend, or sharing it on Twitter or Facebook.

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Why Do Parents Divorce?

Posted on April 19th, 2021
causes of divorce statistics, common reasons people, communication problems increase, couples seek divorce, many marriages end, reasons people give to divorce, reasons to file for divorce, relationship enhancement program, sex marital therapy, top reasons for divorce, why did we get divorced

Divorce is never easy. In fact, it’s a traumatic event that can have a lasting impact on everyone in the family for many years. It’s hard enough going through a divorce when the only thing you have to think about is the two of you, but when children come into the equation, it becomes a whole other ball game.

As we’ve discussed previously in the Most Common Reasons for Divorce blog post, getting married too early, pregnancy before marriage and lower-income and education are some of the biggest common denominators when it comes to divorce. There isn’t much information out there on why parents decide to end things, however. So, what makes parents get divorced? What is the straw that breaks the camel’s back and splits up a family?

Let’s take a look at some statistics and insights into parents and the reasons why they get divorced.

Marriages with Children are Less Likely to End

The U.S. Census Bureau has indicated that divorce rates are as shockingly high as 50%. This sobering statistic means that around half of marriages fail. While this may be a scary thought, the good news is that marriages that involve children are 40% less likely to end in divorce.

However, it’s not difficult to see that there is definitely still a high population of parents that decide to get divorced. If your parents themselves are not divorced, it’s likely that a close friend or family member has divorced parents. What is it that drives some parents to divorce while others don’t?

Staying Together for the Kids

It’s likely that you’ve heard someone utter the phrase that they are staying together for the kids. These types of marriage are often not incredibly unhappy marriages, but rather unfulfilled ones. Many people decide to stay together while their kids are young or to prevent disrupting their schooling.

This means that many of these partners go their separate ways after children have flown the nest and gone off to college or got a job and moved out of the family home.

The State of the Marriage is Negatively Affecting the Kids

While some marriages can exist on autopilot and come to an inevitable end, such as the example given above, others are a lot more volatile and uglier. Marriages that involve a lot of fighting, blaming, screaming and even abuse are going to have a huge negative impact on any kids involved.

At this stage of the marriage, many parents come to the realization that they are doing more harm to their kids by staying together than they would be if they got a divorce.

Vastly Different Opinions on Upbringing

Most people have an ideal way that they would like to bring up their children and if this isn’t discussed before the children actually arrive, it could place enormous stress on the marriage. For example, you might believe that your children deserve everything that you couldn’t have as a child and you lavish them with love and gifts, but your partner thinks you are spoiling the kids and they should have to do things like household chores to get gifts or rewards.

Religion is also something that comes into upbringing in a big way. If you and your partner are from different religious backgrounds and it doesn’t impact your marriage much, it’s still important to talk about what path you would like your children to follow. When one partner wants their children to follow their religion and the other wants theirs to be the prominent one, it can bring a whole lot of pressure and conflict into a marriage that wasn’t present before.

The Same Reasons as Parents Without Kids Get Divorced

Having kids definitely adds another element to the divorce process and makes it more complex. At the end of the day, however, parents still struggle with the same issues as most marriages that fail.

This could be anything from commitment issues and financial strain to infidelity, abuse, and everything else in between. You can read more about these in our recent blog on the Top Reasons People Divorce.

Finding the Source of Your Divorce

Every divorce comes with its own individual reasons and causes and it’s important that you work through your divorce to find out the main reason why yours ended. This is an essential step in the healing of those wounds and by figuring out where it all went wrong, you can give yourself the forgiveness you need and the permission to move on in a healthy and holistic way.

At Naked Divorce, we have created a wonderful product called Finding the Source of your Divorce that equips you with the tools and thought processes that you need to dig deep and find the core of your marriage’s breakdown. If you are ready to get on the path towards healing from your divorce, then we’re here every step of the way.

Book a Clarity Call with one of our divorce angels or get in touch to see how we can help you move into a brighter future.

If you enjoyed this post, I’d be very grateful if you’d help it spread by emailing it to a friend, or sharing it on Twitter or Facebook.

With you in service
Book a Clarity Call for any divorce or break up support you need,

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Divorce Advice for Men

Posted on March 26th, 2021
Divorce advice for men - Naked Divorce

Most of the divorce tips out there for men are about protecting wealth and assets, how to approach custody battles and so on. While some of this advice can be right (and practical) there seems to be less of an emphasis of helping men with the emotional rollercoaster that they will experience during a divorce.

Anyone that goes through a divorce—wives, husbands, parents, and children—will be impacted by the ramifications that come with the breakdown of a family unit. Women are projected as being more emotional and there are undoubtedly a lot more women that are comfortable in seeking the help that they need when going through a divorce. Here is a link to what women divorcing might go through…

The fact of the matter is that men and women have different expectations on them, and they are expected to handle emotional matters in different ways. A divorce doesn’t define who you are, but how you handle it can help define how you will become and the future journey that you are going to go on.

Here are just some quick tips and advice for men to get through a divorce in a healthy way.

Acceptance

Denial is a fear-based emotion that clouds your judgement and prolongs the pain on the journey through a divorce. The breakdown of a marriage is probably one of the hardest things for anyone to accept, but if you and your partner are heading down the road of divorce, then acceptance of the situation will only help you.

We’re not talking about burying your head in the sand and hoping the pain will go away. We’re talking about taking on the acceptance, recognizing that is probably the right outcome for both of you and for your kids, if you have any. Try not to look back on your marriage with rose-tinted glasses, as this will only make it harder to make the divorce journey as pain-free as it can possibly be.

Embrace the emotions

Of course, we are taught that men are meant to be less emotional than women; they are expected to suck up their feelings and get along with it. This is an incredibly hurtful societal norm. In fact, The Center for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) did a study in 2017, which put the risk of suicide in men at a massive four times higher than in women. The pressure of being a man that is not expected to show or handle their emotional distress plays a big part in this.

When you are going through a divorce, you are going to feel a whole lot of different emotions. You could be happy; you could be devastated and you could be somewhere in between. The stages of grief and loss aren’t linear, and everyone experiences them differently. Just know that grieving is a completely natural emotion to experience in a divorce and that you certainly aren’t alone.

Work on amicable co-parenting

One of the most important things to remember when you are going through a divorce, is that it doesn’t just involve you and your ex-spouse. If you have kids, they are going to feel the full effects of the family breakdown and it’s important that you and your ex work together to provide as much stability and comfort for them as you can.

Custody battles are often the ugliest part of a divorce and they hurt everyone involved. Make sure that you talk to your ex and that you come to an understanding that you will put your children before yourselves for this period. It’s essential that you work out a positive and amicable co-parenting plan that involves whatever is best for the kids. Ask your children what they expect going forward, never use your children as a bargaining chip, or a messenger. The only way to get them through this difficult time in their lives with as little trauma as possible to keep your messiness away from them. Put them first by presenting as a united parenting front, even if you have problems with your ex.

Don’t be afraid to ask for help

I get it, it’s not meant to be very ‘manly’ to ask for help, but it’s important that you do so to ensure that you get through this divorce in a healthy way. Men, in particular, are a little slow to sit at the help table and reaching out is often not on the agenda. Always remember that you are not alone in this. Reach out to friends and family for support if you feel comfortable doing so. If not, then there are tons of support groups and other programs like Naked Divorce that are here to give you the emotional support and tools to help you get through this tough time.

Take time for yourself

It can be tempting to throw yourself into a myriad of things after or during a divorce; this could be work, the gym, or even a new relationship. While it is good to keep your mind busy, it’s always important to take time for yourself to process and manage what you have been through and where you would like to be going forward.

This is particularly important when it comes to a new relationship. Jumping into something fresh might make you feel good or takes your mind off your past relationship, but if you haven’t healed, then you are going to take the same problems with you going into it.

At Naked Divorce, we know exactly how hard it is to come out of a divorce without emotional scarring, but we also know that there are healthy ways to ensure that you get through this tough time with a positive mindset and a bright future.

Check out the video on Divorce Tips and Advice from Naked Divorce, or feel free to get in touch with us. We look forward to starting the journey to healing alongside you.

If you enjoyed this post, I’d be very grateful if you’d help it spread by emailing it to a friend, or sharing it on Twitter or Facebook.

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Divorce Advice for Women

Posted on March 15th, 2021
Divorce Advice for Women

Historically, women have had it much harder than men when it comes to the divorce process. This was mainly down to the fact that more women were stay-at-home moms, working in the home—while men tended to be the sole breadwinners for the family.

Luckily, much of this has changed and more women than ever contribute to finances and have stable jobs outside of the home. Divorce today is more about how dependent either spouse is on the other and whether there are children involved. Here is a link to what men divorcing might go through…

However, just because things have moved in a more modern direction, that doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t be prepared for divorce. Divorce will take its toll on all parties mentally, financially, and emotionally, and it is important that you have everything in order for this journey.

These are just some of the topics that I cover in my Divorce Tips and Advice training that helps women to get through the divorce process as well prepared as possible. It is important to understand that every divorce is unique, but you can put yourself in the best space possible to strongly handle the divorce process and your new life that comes afterward.

Preparing for Divorce

Get Your Legal Counsel

So many women say that they “aren’t ready” to talk to a lawyer. It is hugely important that you get in touch with some sort of legal counsel as soon as possible. Do not put off contacting a professional. They will help you enormously by explaining early in the divorce process where you stand and what your different options are. Having a knowledgeable professional by your side gives you strength and preparedness from the start.

If you are not sure where to find a good lawyer, especially if you want one that specializes in family law, then a good place to start is simply asking trusted friends or family members that went through a divorce who they used. Alternatively, you could ask your usual attorney to recommend someone.

Gather Financial Information

At the end of the day, finances are a big part of almost every divorce, and it is essential that you get a firm grip on monetary issues between you and your spouse. You need to get proof of and understand what you have accumulated together (i.e., debts, assets, and income), as well as what you owe. You need to gather financial documents like bank statements, mortgage statements, shared accounts, tax returns, loan documents, and any investments that you might have.

Always keep an eye out for new changes to these accounts, like money being funnelled from a joint account or large expenditures that you aren’t aware of. If you do not have access to these accounts and your spouse won’t give them to you, you can request documents like tax returns, etc. from the IRS.

Create a Budget

You need to understand what your finances are going to be going forward. So, first, you need to look at any home costs, schooling, and other aspects that you may be responsible for after the divorce. Then you need to document your expenses for at least a couple of months to truly understand how much you spend and how much you’ll need to cover this. Keep receipts and records of everything from haircuts to babysitters, groceries, and fuel. You can put this info into an Excel sheet or use a budgeting app.

Start Saving

Once you have an idea of how much you’re going to be spending, you’ll be able to start saving. This means breaking down exactly how much money you need to put away every single week or month to ensure that you are covered when you are no longer with your spouse. If you don’t have a job, then this is definitely the time to consider getting one to ensure that you can make ends meet.

Life After Divorce

It’s Going to Take Time

Divorce is always traumatic, even if it turns out to be a rather seamless process. You must understand that you are going to grieve for the life you have left behind and that’s okay. Everyone grieves differently and everyone takes their own post-divorce journey to happiness. You must give yourself the time that you need to get used to being on your own, figuring out what you want to do, who you want to be, and what you want your future partner to offer you. Take your time to discover new and exciting things about yourself and be kind; it’s normal to have bad days and good days and there is no time limit on how long that is going to last.

Create a Routine

Routines are looked at in a negative light far too frequently. When you are trying to navigate a new life and get through an emotionally taxing journey—routine can be the best thing for you. Create a healthy routine that keeps you on track and stops you from wallowing in self-pity for too long. Wake up early, eat a good breakfast, hit the gym, or go for a walk, etc. Create time every day for the things that bring joy to your soul, whether that’s exercise, reading, art, or spending quality time with your kids.

Find Your Tribe

There’s nothing more important than ensuring you are surrounded by people that know and love you. These are the people that will help you get through the worst of times and who will be there for your new lease on life. Find the people that support you and that you trust to talk to about what you are going through. Don’t isolate yourself, as tempting as that may be. It’s always important to find your tribe to get through the tough times and celebrate the good ones.

Seek Professional Support

Never be afraid to seek out professional support after your divorce. Counselors, therapists, and people like our Divorce Angels are equipped with the knowledge to help you navigate the emotional post-divorce journey. There is absolutely nothing wrong about getting the help that you need, and a professional will be able to give you the tools and strategies to ensure you build the life that you are striving for in your future.

At Naked Divorce, we are here to support you and guide you through all stages of the divorce process. Get in touch with me for a Clarity Call or have a look at our specialist divorce programs.

If you enjoyed this post, I’d be very grateful if you’d help it spread by emailing it to a friend, or sharing it on Twitter or Facebook.

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The Most Common Reasons for Divorce

Posted on January 13th, 2021

Going through a divorce is a traumatic experience and one that many people struggle to get over for years. Often the lingering effects of the previous marriage permeate into new relationships and inhibit people from moving on.

Healing from any traumatic experience takes courage, hard work, and dedication. Healing from divorce trauma is no different—you have to confront the things that you probably don’t want to, deal with repressed emotions, and take responsibility for your own actions. Only when you have fully engaged with the how’s and why’s of your divorce, will you be able to move forward into a bright and healthy future.

Healing from your divorce has many different aspects to it, but one of the most important ones is finding the source of your divorce. At Naked Divorce, we have an entire guide and workbook particularly geared towards helping our clients identify the source of their divorce, with exercises to help them heal along this journey of discovery.

What are the main causes of divorce?

When it comes to the main causes of a divorce, you have to keep in mind that there isn’t a one-size-fits-all answer. It could be a single thing that caused the breakdown of the relationship—such as infidelity—it could be a number of different things over the years, and in some cases, it could just be down to simply being incompatible.

In 2001, the Oklahoma 2001 Baseline state-wide survey on marriage and divorce also showed that there is more to divorce than direct causes. There are, in fact, also some predetermined factors that could have made you a higher divorce risk than others. These are just some of those predetermined factors that have a higher risk of divorce:

Getting married too young: When we are young, we always feel like “this is the one”. However, even if that person is the right one for right now, it’s difficult to think about the ways that we are going to grow and evolve in the years ahead. In many cases, couples grow differently and realize that they aren’t always compatible. Getting married too young is one of the top causes of divorce, especially in the first few years after marriage.
Lower-income and limited education: One of the main causes of divorce is financial difficulties. Limited education (that normally stems from lack of finances) often results in finding a low-income job. Perceived lack of money and financial issues puts heaps of pressure on any relationship.
Pregnancy before marriage: Although it’s less common now than it was a decade ago—if a woman falls pregnant before marriage, the couple are expected, and often pressured, into getting married. Most people have the biological capabilities to make a baby together, but not everyone has the emotional capacity to be the right fit for a lifetime together.
Having divorced parents: Unfortunately, many aspects of our lives are unknowingly built into our subconscious through our upbringing and the risk of divorce is double if you have divorced parents. In fact, if both partners’ parents are divorced, it actually triples. Keep in mind that just because your parents got divorced that doesn’t mean that you 100% will, it should just make you more aware of the red flags.

Why are the most common causes given for divorce?

The most common reasons that people give for divorce contain the following:

• Finances
• Infidelity
• Communication issues
• Incompatibility
• Intimacy problems
• Abuse
• Addictions

Ready to find the true source of your divorce?

While there are some common threads through most divorces, every single situation is different and will have its own individual causes. Finding the source of your divorce is a huge step in the healing process and it will also help you to avoid these situations with any potential future relationships.

If you are ready to start your journey to complete healing, then we’ll be there with you every step of the way. Book a call with Naked Divorce and we will get you on the path to a bright and happy future.

If you enjoyed this post, I’d be very grateful if you’d help it spread by emailing it to a friend, or sharing it on Twitter or Facebook.

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Choosing the right divorce coach

Posted on November 25th, 2020
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Getting through the divorce process on your own is not just highly complicated, but also fraught with a whole heap of emotional and sometimes physical turmoil. Most people going through a breakup or divorce seek the services of an attorney with an American Bar Association certification. While it’s essential to have a trusted attorney on your side, using them for some of the stages of a divorce isn’t just unnecessary but can also become incredibly expensive.

For those looking for someone to guide them through dispute resolution and to provide objective opinions that will help to make them to make the best possible decision, divorce coaching could be the answer.

A divorce coach makes an excellent addition to the team of professionals that helps you to get through your divorce. They are more cost-effective and will provide information and advice on a whole host of different aspects, from financial to legal, emotional, and much more.

Why hire a divorce coach?

Getting a professional team together to look after your particular interests and needs during the divorce process shouldn’t be underestimated. The people and professionals you surround yourself with at this time won’t just have an impact on the right now, but also on your future. This could be in financial, mental, and physical wellbeing aspects.

Divorce coaches offer a cost-effective option to get unique emotional and financial advice. They offer a flexible goal-orientated process designed specifically to get you through the divorce process and towards the future you want for yourself.

Unlike an attorney, they aren’t going to charger per-minute for calls and meetings and will be able to support you in a more emotional manner and divorce coach rates are a lot more affordable than using your attorney. Keep in mind, that a divorce coach is not a therapist and rather than unpacking the past, they will work with you to set attainable goals to strive towards in the long and short term. Divorce coaches guide people going through a life-changing event in order to attain the ultimate goal of collaborative divorce or conscious uncoupling, where both partners leave the relationship without doing emotional damage to each other or their children.

What to look for in a divorce coach

Finding a divorce coach can be as simple as typing “Divorce coach near me” in Google, however, you don’t want to jump the gun and hire the first person who pops up. Finding the right person to guide you through the divorce process is essential and here are just some of the things you should ask and consider when you are looking for a divorce coach.

Qualifications

When you’re looking for a certified divorce coach, it’s important that you keep in mind that everyone has different backgrounds and specialities. Some divorce coaches come from financial backgrounds and would be great dealing with monetary issues in the divorce, while others are better at helping you with mediation out of court and so on. It’s important to find a divorce coach that has the qualifications and experience in what you need them for most. At Naked Divorce, we have a team of Divorce Angels from different backgrounds to help you across the whole journey of divorce.

Personality

As with any profession, it’s important that you get along with your divorce coach. Remember that you are going to be baring a lot of raw emotions with this person and they are going to get to grip with some pretty intimate details of your past relationship. It’s so important that you connect with them on a personal level if you want it to work on a professional level too.

This is a great time to check out their reviews and past client recommendations to see how other people feel about them.

Process

You’re going to be going through a divorce with this person at your side and you need to make sure that you know what their process is like to see if it’s something that you will be comfortable doing. Ask them to walk you through their process and about the biggest challenges that their clients generally face. Ask what you should expect when you first meet them and how you will set goals and measure progress. How long do their clients normally stay with them? Are they flexible in terms of time and do they offer in-person services only, or could you do a telephone or video coaching service? These are all good questions to ask in order to find out exactly what their process is and if it is going to suit you.

Services

All divorce coaches are not the same. Some might offer simple coaching during a divorce, some offer coaching afterwards, some are more finance involved and so on. Try find someone that is going to go above and beyond to motivate you to know your goals out of the park. At Naked Divorce, we are there from the start; we mentor you through conscious uncoupling, the divorce and mediation, the finances of the journey, how to tell your children, and also set goals on how you are going to thrive in your life after divorce. Naked Divorce offers a number of programs and retreats to choose from according to what will best suit your interests, needs, and future goals.

As you can see, there are many things to consider when trying to find the right divorce coach for your needs. If you are looking for a divorce coach that will go the extra mile to guide you through the divorce journey and into a bright future ahead, then get in touch with us at Naked Divorce.

If you enjoyed this post, I’d be very grateful if you’d help it spread by emailing it to a friend, or sharing it on Twitter or Facebook.

With you in service
Book a Clarity Call for any divorce or break up support you need,

check out our resources or our Videos on Youtube

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The Ultimate Guide to Divorce Coaching

Posted on November 15th, 2020

Falling in love is easy and so is getting married. The hard part comes in when you have to work hard every day to maintain and nurture the relationship as you grow and change. What was once a loving relationship can easily disintegrate into a barely civil arrangement, which is not benefitting either partner.

Divorce is one of the worst things to go through and there are certainly mental and physical health issues that come as a result of a messy divorce or breakup. However, don’t forget that you don’t have to go through the process alone. There are professionals certified in divorce coaching to support you and help you make the best possible decisions.

What is a divorce coach?

Whether you are going in-person or getting a divorce coach online, it’s important to know what they are going to do for you. Divorce coaches guide people going through a breakup or divorce and help with support and motivation to healthily navigate the divorce journey. A certified divorce coach ultimately creates a flexible goal-orientated process designed to support people going through a divorce to reach the best possible outcome based on their particular interests and needs.

Not everyone that becomes a divorce coach is from the same background and when hiring a divorce coach, you’ll find some are lawyers from the American Bar Association, others are mental health professionals or trauma therapists, and some certified divorce financial analysts. Your divorce coach might specialize in a particular area and this is why it’s so important that you find a divorce coach that is best suited to your specific needs.

It’s also important to keep in mind that divorce coaching is a completely different process to what you’ll find in counseling or therapy. Certified divorce coaches won’t make any medical analyses, they won’t try to unpack your past and find the root cause of your issues and why your marriage didn’t work out. Your coach is also not your divorce lawyer and won’t be the person you should go to for legal advice. However, they are there to walk you through the process of divorce and explain it to you in a way that you will be able to understand more clearly.

So what does a divorce coach do?

As mentioned, don’t expect a therapy session from a divorce coach, but rather a guided path on how to build your confidence and ability to be able to emotionally handle everything that comes with a divorce and your future that lies ahead.

Thing divorce coaches can do includes:

• Equip you with ways to patiently and calmly manage the journey of divorce
• Provide information on the various stages of the grief cycle and divorce and how to healthily acknowledge and work through each one
• Help you to learn how to manage to live a full life throughout the divorce process and for the years after
• Act as a mediator and collaborator with your lawyer to help with costs and information such as documents and emotional strength for legal processes
• Act as a support structure with the emotions you don’t want to burden your family, friends, or lawyer with
• Listen to your problems and complaints (especially about your ex) and equip you with healthy ways to manage these triggers
• Help you to set and achieve manageable goals for life after your divorce

How can Naked Divorce help you?

Naked Divorce ServicesNaked Divorce is a divorce coaching program that has been designed to help you cope and thrive through holistic training and guidance. We aren’t just there for when you sign the papers but enter the journey at the beginning to help you along the whole divorce journey.

Naked Divorce has been specifically created to help those going through a divorce or breakup to deal with the three main areas of the divorce journey:

  • Deciding: This is a pre-divorce stage where our Divorce Angels help you complete a pre-divorce assessment and strategy. This allows us to see what is triggering the breakdown of your marriage and will give us clarity on whether it is salvageable. We provide the information and materials that will help you either work on your marriage or to start your divorce journey. This includes assessing your needs and the needs of your children if you have any.
  • Completing: This is where you’ll need to put the changes into action that we’ve agreed upon. We have created the Naked Divorce Separation Shift program to encourage what we call “conscious uncoupling”. That is a divorce that is harmonious and empathetic from both sides. Our Divorce Angels will help you collect documents and material for the divorce and help everyone understand the divorce in ‘non-lawyer’ terms. We have a mediation team to help soothe any conflict over children and financials and we will help our client develop a firm support structure. Our Divorce Angels will help you set clear, reasonable goals and also implement a program that will help you tell your kids and also assist them on their journey.
  • Resolving: Going from married to single is a bit like jumping into very cold water and it’s understandable that you might lose your breath and take a while to swim. We help you to set long- and short-term goals and set you on the path to reach them. We also have retreats, coaching, and the Emotional Freedom program that help you to resolve your emotions and heal from the physical and emotional issues that come with divorce.

Remember, our divorce coaches have been where you are before, and they know what kind of trauma you are dealing with. They are there to support you and share in the positive and negative experiences of the divorce journey.

If you think you need a divorce coach, then Naked Divorce and our Divorce Angels are here to support you. Our programs are guaranteed to help you through the long journey of divorce and our certified divorce coaches are here to ensure that you come out stronger on the other side.

If you enjoyed this post, I’d be very grateful if you’d help it spread by emailing it to a friend, or sharing it on Twitter or Facebook.

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Reasons to File for Divorce

Posted on November 11th, 2020
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Divorce can be a lot more complicated than many people think it is. It’s not as straightforward as married couples deciding to get a divorce and signing on the dotted line. There must be legal reasons for divorce given and it’s something that you must consider before you file for divorce.

The grounds for divorce are the reasons that one party, or both, will give to the courts as part of the divorce process. Either partner has to provide concrete evidence to support the biggest reason for divorce that the court can put into legally defined categories in order for the process to be successful.

There are two main legal categories under which you can file for divorce and it’s essential that you understand these before you apply to put an end to your married life. In this article, I’m going to go through both of these legal categories, what they mean, and what factors can constitute for divorce in both.

Keep in mind that the country or state that you live in could have different laws or regulations and some areas don’t recognize at-fault processes and put both into one category.

At-fault divorces

At-fault divorces are not as common and are no longer recognized in some states, however, it’s important to know about them if you do happen to live in a country or state that still practices it. At-fault divorce is a process whereby one partner provides evidence that the other partner has engaged in behavior that makes it unsafe or impossible for the marriage to continue. The main reasons to apply for at-fault divorce is to get around the residential separation before divorce that comes with no-fault divorce. It is also the most likely process in which the partner who applies for the divorce will get more property or monetary support from their partner’s assets.

So, what constitutes to an at-fault divorce that will allow you to apply for it in a court of law?

The most traditional reasons people give when applying for at-fault divorce include the following:

  • Cruelty: When a partner has inflicted emotional or physical domestic violence and abuse on their spouse. This is the most frequently used in this category.
  • Adultery: When one partner has been unfaithful.
  • Desertion: A partner has abandoned their spouse and left them for a certain amount of time
  • Prison: When a spouse has been incarcerated for a long period of time.
  • Impotence: A partner who knew they were not able to engage in sexual intercourse before the wedding and chose to keep it from their partner.

It is absolutely essential that you are able to prove to the courts that your partner is guilty of the actions you have taken to court because they are able to defend themselves and could end up costing a bucket load in lawyer and court fees throughout the divorce process.

No-fault divorce

No-fault divorce is the most common kind of divorce applied for. It differs from at-fault divorce in that the person filing for divorce doesn’t have to submit any evidence that their partner has done anything wrong to end the relationship. A lot of the time both partners will agree with the divorce process and the most common reasons given are “irreconcilable differences” or an “irreparable breakdown of the marriage.”

The biggest difference here is that one of the spouses cannot file to defend themselves or petition an objection to the court to stop legal proceedings. Keep in mind, however, that by law you will be required to live apart for a stipulated period of time before you are allowed to go through with the divorce.

This is often the case when couples feel like they have worked hard enough at the marriage, but it is clearly best to separate.

The most common reasons for divorce

Whether filing for at-fault or no-fault divorce, these are the most common reasons for divorce throughout the world:

  • Irreconcilable differences: Sometimes marriages simply don’t work out and one of the top reasons for divorce is simply that they don’t feel romantic towards each other or cannot see eye to eye on important aspects such as money or bringing up their children.
  • Infidelity: Infidelity is also one of the biggest reasons many marriages end. Unfortunately, we live in a digital world where it has become increasingly easy to meet and connect with people outside of our marriages. Instead of working on a marriage, many choose to simply try find what they are lacking at home with someone else. Cheating and infidelity are undoubtedly a traumatic experience that can really have a knock on the cheated on partner’s confidence.
  • Unreasonable behavior: Unreasonable behavior can have many different levels and can range from simple loss of communication and understanding to drug use/substance abuse to domestic violence. There are many reasons why people feel like their partner has been displaying unreasonable behavior and this is something that they will display to the court when filing for divorce.

How can Naked Divorce help?

Divorce can be traumatic for everyone, whether you’ve been down the marriage counseling road and tried for years but things aren’t working, you’re getting yourself out of an abusive relationship, or your partner has been unfaithful. The most important thing to keep in mind when you’re getting divorced is that you’re not alone and that you have people to support you.

At Naked Divorce, we have Divorce Angels that will guide you through every step of your divorce journey. From the very moment you are thinking about getting a divorce, through to taking action and finalizing the papers and onto how you are going to thrive in your life beyond divorce, our Divorce Angels are there to listen, give you advice, and most importantly to give you the solutions and tools that you need to make the best decisions going forward.

We have a highly-trained team of professionals that can assist with everything from legal advice and financial planning to simply listening to those things you don’t want to burden your family and friends with. We believe that there is a way to get through a divorce successfully with as little trauma done to you, your children, and your partner.

Naked Divorce has a whole host of highly-effective programs that have been created for people going through a divorce or breakup and we are here to help you get to the other side of your divorce journey in a healthy, holistic way. Feel free to get in touch with us if you’d like to know more about any of our courses and programs or even just to see if we’re the right fit for you.

Divorce may be the end of your marriage, but it can also be the beginning of something more beautiful down the line and we’re here to help you discover that.

If you enjoyed this post, I’d be very grateful if you’d help it spread by emailing it to a friend, or sharing it on Twitter or Facebook.

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Book a Clarity Call for any divorce or break up support you need,

check out our resources or our Videos on Youtube

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Free e-book: The First 8 Steps to healing from divorce

How to become a divorce coach

Posted on November 9th, 2020
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Marriages are often our primary support system where we get our love, care, advice, and security from. However, not all marriages are built to last and almost half of all married couples are facing divorce.

Whether it’s down to financial problems, infidelity, abuse, addiction, or simple incompatibility, divorce is happening more frequently than ever before. While there are some successful divorce examples, where there is a conscious uncoupling done with respect, more often than not, they don’t always go well. Divorce isn’t simply signing a dotted line and starting again – it often has traumatic physical and mental health impacts that can leave you feeling depressed, anxious, and devoid of confidence.

Luckily for those considering divorce, they now have the option of hiring a divorce coach to become part of their divorce team. Divorce coaching is a growing profession and one of the most common divorce coaching questions is about the role of a divorce coach and how to become one.

What does a divorce coach do?

Before you decide you want to become a divorce coach, it’s important to know exactly what a divorce coach does. A divorce coach is a professional that has many roles in helping clients that are facing divorce and going through the divorce process.

A divorce coach will give clients the right tools and strategies to make decisions and achieve their short- and long-term goals, which extend beyond divorce. They are there to assist on a number of different levels, from personal well-being and parenting to financial advice, resolving conflicts and much more.

Keep in mind, that a divorce coach is not an alternative to a divorce attorney, divorce lawyer or a psychologist, but is rather an integral part of a divorce team that will help the client with moving forward healthy and with confidence during and after the divorce process.

Who should become a divorce coach?

Just like any job in the world, there are some people that are better suited for the role of becoming a divorce coach than others are. It’s an incredibly rewarding profession, as you help your clients get through traumatic times and come through stronger on the other side. But it is no way an easy job either. It takes a certain set of personal strength and values to become a divorce coach. If you are wondering whether you would suit divorce coaching as a career, then ask yourself the following questions:

  • Are you passionate about helping others to work towards becoming a more confident, ‘better’ versions of themselves?
  • Do you enjoy talking to people and helping them find problem-solving solutions?
  • Are you a good listener?
  • Are you good at conflict resolution?
  • Can you remain unbiased in situations that are highly emotional?
  • Would you be happy to let your client take the lead? Are you confident in guiding them to make the best decisions for their interests and future, as well as equipping them with the right solutions and tools to do so?

Qualifying as a divorce coach?

Divorce coaching is still not officially governed by a body and as such, there is no official qualification that you need to become one. However, certifications and qualifications are essential to create credibility around your practice and to set you apart from other divorce coaches.

Anyone can become a divorce coach, but lawyers, financial advisors, psychologists, life coaches and family mediators often move into the divorce coaching sphere. If you’re want to find a divorce coaching course, then it’s important that you look for the right one for your strengths to set you apart from your competition.

For example, you may be more financially minded and that would make you ideal for divorce financial coaching. If conflict resolution is something that you are great at then look into that aspect, or if helping children through divorce is your passion, then specialise in that and do your research on family law.

Find the right divorce coaching course

Finding the best divorce coaching course and certifications for your path is absolutely essential. Some courses range from just a few weeks, while others can take months or more.

At Naked Divorce, our divorce coaches are known as Divorce Angels and we have a holistic, specialised course that certifies our Divorce Angels in our particular technology, methodology, and processes.

At Naked Divorce, we are there from the beginning of the divorce right to the end and even beyond divorce and our Divorce Angels are trained to be able to guide our clients throughout the whole divorce journey. The Naked Divorce training course equips our Angels with the knowledge to do a pre-divorce assessment and get all the information they need to make sure clients’ and their children’s counseling needs are met. They are also there to guide clients through the Separation Shift program to ensure that the uncoupling is as harmonious and civil as possible.

After the divorce, our Divorce Angels are experienced and training in how to help clients flourish in their social and personal lives. Short- and long-term goals are set, and this is where clients will be guided on their journey to resolve their emotions and heal from the negative emotional impact the divorce might have had on them.

At Naked Divorce, we know that divorce coaches are an integral part of a healthy, successful divorce. If you are looking into hiring a divorce coach that can guide you through your divorce journey, then we’re here and ready to help you take the next important steps.

If you would like to know more about becoming a Divorce Angel with Naked Divorce, contact us below.

If you enjoyed this post, I’d be very grateful if you’d help it spread by emailing it to a friend, or sharing it on Twitter or Facebook.

With you in service
Book a Clarity Call for any divorce or break up support you need,

check out our resources or our Videos on Youtube

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Free e-book: The First 8 Steps to healing from divorce

Causes of divorce

Posted on November 5th, 2020
Get over divorce heartbreak

Falling in love is special and getting married is often one of the most wonderful days of our lives and it can seem as if nothing could ever tear this relationship apart. No one gets married with the intention of getting divorced, but unfortunately, marriage problems are a reality, and many studies show that between 40-50% of marriages end in divorce.

If you are facing or going through a divorce, even though you’ve tried marriage counseling or have seen a relationship coach, it can all seem incredibly overwhelming. Many married couples feel a sense of failure when their relationships don’t work out, but it’s important to realize that you aren’t alone.

I’ve put together a list of the leading causes of divorce to show you common reasons people give for the breakdown of their relationships. It’s important to understand that your relationship isn’t the only one that has not made it, or if you are in fact still married, seeing a common source of divorce could help you to navigate your way to a better place in your relationship.

Who is most likely to get a divorce?

Divorce doesn’t just come down to direct causes, as there are also some predetermined factors that have been picked up in numerous studies, such as the Oklahoma 2001 Baseline statewide survey on marriage and divorce. The following factors have been determined to create a higher risk of divorce among married couples:

• Marrying young: We don’t always make the best decisions in our youth and it’s proven that getting married too young is one of the top causes of divorce, especially in the early years.
• Low income and limited education: Money woes and financial insecurity put pressure on a marriage. Limited education often means low-income jobs, and this leads to more money-based arguments.
• Premarital pregnancy: Couples that get pregnant before marriage often feel pressured into it. This means that they aren’t always the right fit and just get married because of the pregnancy. This seems less prevalent now than it did a decade ago, however.
• Divorced parents: Having divorced parents doubles your risk of divorce and if both partners’ parents are divorced, this rate triples. Having divorced parents doesn’t mean you will definitely get divorced, but you should be more aware of the red flags.

What are the top causes of divorce?

Now that you know some of the predetermined factors that could increase the risk of divorce, here are the top reasons that happy marriages end in divorce:

Finances

There’s nothing that can tear people apart quite like money; friends, family, and loved ones can turn against each other in the blink of an eye when it comes to finances. Incompatibility with spending, unequal incomes, and other financial problems are often a common final straw in a marriage. A once happy marriage can become an unhappy one very quickly when there’s an economic downturn or if one spouse may have made bad financial decisions.

Infidelity

Any successful partnership is built on a foundation of trust and when you break that trust, the very building blocks of your marriage are shaken, if not completely destroyed. When one partner goes outside of the marriage in search of emotional or physical comfort, it is hard to forgive and more often than not, will lead to the breakdown of a marriage.

Communication problems

One of the most common problems cited for divorce is lack of communication, or that communication problems have increased. Women, in particular, seem to chalk this down as a bigger factor than men do. Communication could be anything from seemingly small daily issues to bigger topics like religion, sex, money, and more, that are often ignored.

Intimacy issues

Intimacy is a massive part of any marriage and when this starts to fade away, it’s usually got its root causes in something more serious. This could be infidelity, trauma from the past, inability to become sexually aroused, illness, and much more.

Addictions

Drug abuse or any substance abuse is hard to live with and having a spouse that is addicted to drugs, alcohol, shopping, gambling, sex, or something else can be incredibly devastating if treatment isn’t sought out. Addictions are one of the leading causes of divorce.

Abuse

Domestic abuse doesn’t have to be physical; it can also be emotional and even financial. This is a very serious situation that no one should feel the need to stay in and is most likely to end in divorce.

Incompatibility

This is often a part of the communication issue factor. Some couples get married and then later down the line realize that they actually don’t have that much in common and don’t really have a lot to talk about. This is when growing apart becomes a reality and the stage where most couples will file for divorce with the agreement of both partners.

These are just some of the top causes of divorce from around the world, but keep in mind that every divorce is different, and your feelings could be unique to your situation. At Naked Divorce, we have created a program to specifically help people like you get through the divorce process and come out the other side feeling confident and accomplished.

You are not alone in your divorce and we are here to guide you along every step of your divorce journey to a wonderfully exciting future.

If you enjoyed this post, I’d be very grateful if you’d help it spread by emailing it to a friend, or sharing it on Twitter or Facebook.

With you in service
Book a Clarity Call for any divorce or break up support you need,

check out our resources or our Videos on Youtube

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